Las Vegas Weekly
Issue link: http://digital.greenspunmedia.com/i/772473
with an oversized iPad jammed in it. The hot selling point was that it can take pictures of what's inside. "What if you're on your way home and you don't know if you need milk," the rep asked. "I'll text my girlfriend." "What if she's not home?" "What if we have milk? Then I spent $6,000 on a fridge for nothing." Smart beds were in play, with one from Emfit promising you can "Gain a competitive advantage." For your real serious sleep league, I guess. Under Armour was touting smart sneakers that promised to reveal your "readiness to run." (Never. The answer is never. Unless there's a rhino loose on Fremont Street.) Smart vinyl at least toed the line between actual physical object and unnecessary digital experience. French outfit Yes It Is is pairing with record labels to embed near-field communication chips in records through the Revive app. Touch your phone to the platter and a page pops up with artist info and a digital version of the music, so you can embrace the warmth and audiophile experience of vinyl in theory, while the album sits on your shelf and you listen to tinny output on your phone. The most vital innovation for Las Vegans at CES might have come from Eureka Park, the floor dedicated to nothing but pie-in-the-sky start-ups. Kino-Mo's hologram projectors wowed and/or terrified crowds with nine simultaneously projected yelling Mark Cuban heads. The one we're all waiting for is Proof, a wearable that checks your blood alcohol content. That's right, the tech world is giving us Fitbit for Drunks. Now that it has made its CES debut, the project is going to seek crowdfunding. From everyone but DUI lawyers, probably. And hey, if all these Bluetooth popping, wifi-syncing, smartphone-hogging tchotchkes are getting you nervous, there's always Spartan underwear, the world's first boxer briefs that promise to mitigate any damage from wifi waves zapping your junk, using a silver-cotton blend to keep your plums off the Geiger counter. The future's gravest danger? Crotch radiation. Welcome to CES, a virtual world of wifi-syncing, smartphone-hogging tech tchotchkes. (Photograph by L.E. Baskow/Photo Illustration) l a s v e g a s w e e k ly 65 0 1 . 1 2 . 1 7 VEGAS' MOST FUN CASINO WANTS YOU! NOW HIRING PARTY PIT DANCING DEALERS AND BARTENDERS Break into the hospitality industry in a young, dynamic work environment with FREE on-the-job training! AUDITIONS AT 5:30PM TUESDAY-SATURDAY GOLDEN GATE HOTEL & CASINO Applicants must audition in dance-wear, GoGo attire or swimwear.